""The new speaker of the house is Mike Johnson, and if that name sounds familiar, it’s ’cause it’s on every fake ID.” "
- Jimmy Fallon
Quotes
"“Martin Scorsese’s out here making movies that last longer than speaker candidates.” "
- "The Daily Show" guest host Desus Nice
"“There are now eight candidates for speaker — seven white men and one Black man, or as Republicans call it, a very diverse slate of choices.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“I really like that Biden only needs one word to get his point across. He’s basically the Groot of presidents.”"
- SNL's Colin Jost
"“Being Trump’s craziest lawyer is like being the most divorced dad at an Embassy Suites.” "
- Michael Kosta, on Sidney Powell
""This kind of thing is where Biden really shines. He and Israel go way back. You know how Moses parted the Red Sea? Joe was the guy who dared him to do it.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“During the first ballot in today’s House speakership vote, Ohio congressman Jim Jordan fell short of the 217 votes necessary to become speaker, but Republicans are determined to keep trying until they finally get it wrong.”"
- Seth Meyers
""Republicans and Democrats are talking about a bipartisan solution to finding a speaker. That’s how crazy things have gotten; our government is so dysfunctional, it might become functional.” "
- Jimmy Fallon
"“Sometimes comedy is really the only way forward through tragedy.” "
- "SNL" host Pete Davidson
"“What a mess. The House only has until Nov. 17 to pass legislation to fund the government or there will be a shutdown. But they can’t do anything until they have a speaker. In the meantime, we’re all just waiting around like we’re customers in line at the CVS pharmacy window: ‘Any chance we’ll get our insulin?’ Not looking good.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
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