"“WeWork went from a $47 billion company to bankruptcy. Somewhere out there, Elon Musk is going, ‘Ooh, challenge accepted!’”"
- Sarah Silverman
Quotes
"“Former President Trump took the witness stand today in his civil fraud trial. He swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and then everyone just laughed and laughed.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“Everyone who has ever gotten more than one tattoo, has gotten a bad tattoo.” "
- "Ink Master" host Joel Madden
""Ivanka did everything she could to get out of testifying. She even tried the old, 'Do you know who my dad is?' And the judge was like, 'Yeah, that's why you're here.'""
- Jimmy Fallon
"“Here’s the thing about Don Jr.: What he lacks in intelligence, he also lacks in charisma.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“The website CandyStore.com recently released a list of the most popular candy in the country, including Sour Patch Kids in New York, Butterfingers in Massachusetts, and Marlboro Reds in Florida.”"
- Seth Meyers
"“Over the weekend, Mike Pence officially suspended his 2024 presidential campaign, right? Which raises an interesting question: Can you stop something that never started?” "
- Jimmy Fallon
"“We will always cherish the joy, the light, the blinding intelligence he brought to every moment - not just to his work, but in life as well. He was always the funniest person in the room. More than that, he was the sweetest, with a giving and selfless heart…This truly is The One Where Our Hearts Are Broken.”"
- "Friends" creators Marta Kauffman and David Crane and EP Kevin Bright on Matthew Perry
"“I feel the need to tell you we didn’t invent this man for this show.” "
- John Oliver, on Argentina's chainsaw-wielding right-wing libertarian Javier Milei
""The meeting [with House Speaker Mike Johnson] was very friendly. Biden even invited Johnson to pet his dog.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
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