"“We have to make life good for our smart people, and he’s as smart as you get.”"
- Donad Trump, on Elon Musk
Quotes
"“This is a sad day for actors everywhere. See? Anyone can do it!”"
- Larry David, on his Emmy nomination
"“He looks like ‘Teen Wolf’ graduated and came back to coach the team.” "
- Seth Meyers, on Republican VP candidate J.D. Vance
"“Former President Trump picked Ohio Senator J.D. Vance to be his running mate. Vance is 39, half Trump’s age. And it’s a weird coincidence, because Kamala Harris is 59, which is half Biden’s age.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""It’s going to be a whole different speech now.”"
- Donald Trump, after the attempt on his life, on his upcoming Republican convention speech
""Maybe the only way Biden can win this fight is to assemble a crack team of well-funded, highly skilled bank robbers, ‘Ocean’s 11’ style. There’s Gavin Newsom, the smooth-talking frontman; Pete Buttigieg, the expert safecracker; and Kamala Harris, the genius card counter posing as the drunk aunt at the craps table.” "
- Seth Meyers
""Trump challenged President Biden to a golf match and said, ‘It will be among the most-watched sporting events in history.’ Would it, though? It’s not exactly gripping to watch two old guys looking through the weeds for their ball.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“Trump needs someone who is going to help him win, so right now the front-runner is Joe Biden.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“They have a clear strategic vision for the future and the resources to build on Paramount Global’s competitive advantages to drive the Company’s success.” "
- Shari Redstone, on Skydance's deal to take over Paramount Global
""I was just having a bad night.""
- Joe Biden, to ABC's George Stephanopoulos
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