Quotes

""[Donald Trump's] rally at Nassau Coliseum was historic. The last time a president appeared at the Coliseum was when President Biden fought the lions in Rome.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“In a post to Truth Social over the weekend, former President Trump said, ‘I hate Taylor Swift!’ Sounds like he’s making a strong play for the 9-year-old brother vote.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“During a new interview, JD Vance admitted that he created the false claim about immigrants eating pets to create media attention. Trump was like, ‘Everyone knows the first rule of fake news is not admitting to fake news.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""Welcome everybody to the 76th Emmy Awards — also known as broadcast TV's biggest night for honoring movie stars on streaming services." "
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- Dan Levy
"“When [Joe Biden] put that hat — that Trump hat on his head, he gave everyone in QAnon a brain aneurysm at once.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Trump said the debate was rigged and that ABC should be shut down for fact-checking him, but that he still thought he did great. Then ABC fact-checked him again and said, ‘You did not.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“He was so nonsensical that she looked at him the way a parent looks at a kid giving a presentation on why they should be allowed to get a pet tiger.” "
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- Stephen Colbert
"“You know these are strange times when Dick Cheney and Barbra Streisand are voting for the same person.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“I can’t believe that I’m still here and performing. I’m looking for work if anybody is asking.”"
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- Creative Arts Emmy winner Dick Van Dyke
"“Let me ask you a question: Is JD Vance a doughnut? Because Walz is dunkin’ him.”"
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- Stephen Colbert, referencing Vance's cringeworthy visit to a doughnut shop
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