"“When [Joe Biden] put that hat — that Trump hat on his head, he gave everyone in QAnon a brain aneurysm at once.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
Quotes
"“Trump said the debate was rigged and that ABC should be shut down for fact-checking him, but that he still thought he did great. Then ABC fact-checked him again and said, ‘You did not.’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“He was so nonsensical that she looked at him the way a parent looks at a kid giving a presentation on why they should be allowed to get a pet tiger.” "
- Stephen Colbert
"“You know these are strange times when Dick Cheney and Barbra Streisand are voting for the same person.” "
- Jimmy Fallon
"“I can’t believe that I’m still here and performing. I’m looking for work if anybody is asking.”"
- Creative Arts Emmy winner Dick Van Dyke
"“Let me ask you a question: Is JD Vance a doughnut? Because Walz is dunkin’ him.”"
- Stephen Colbert, referencing Vance's cringeworthy visit to a doughnut shop
""Election Day is just two months away, and a new poll shows that only a third of Gen Z voters support former President Trump. That makes sense — Trump thinks Gen Z is the rapper married to Beyoncé.” "
- Jimmy Fallon
"“A new poll found that Harris has widened her lead among women to 13 points. Thirteen. Trump heard the news and was like, ‘Was it everything I said?’” "
- Jimmy Fallon
""This is not just a run-of-the-mill dispute for us. We didn’t go into this thinking, ‘Hey, let’s see how much of this we can leverage before Monday Night Football rolls around and then make a deal.' We’re prepared to take this as long as it needs to.”"
- DirecTV CFO Ray Carpenter, on the Disney blackout
""I love some boring. That’s what I want in this ticket. It’s Harris/Walz, not Deadpool/Wolverine.”"
- Bill Maher, after Donald Trump called CNN's Harris/Walz interview boring
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