Quotes

"“Welcome to Ozempic’s biggest night.""
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- Golden Globes host Nikki Glaser
"“The worst thing that could happen is if I faint or have some kind of stroke. Those are my biggest worries, but the material is there. There’s nothing in the set that I feel is so offensive that it would tarnish any kind of opportunities or relationships with people.""
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- Nikki Glaser to the NY Times, on hosting the Golden Globes
"“This was the year that people were behaving so poorly we started being wistful about murderers. Remember, this was the year we were like, were the Menendez brothers so bad? Were we too hard on the Menendez brothers?”"
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- Whitney Cummings, on "CNN New Year's Eve Live"
""If he’s going to be the guy running everything, I’m going to have to work on my Elon Musk impression.”"
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- Stephen Colbert
""As of today, the drone armada has also been spotted in New York, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Virginia and Ohio, which can mean only one thing: The drones are visiting colleges.”"
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- Stephen Colbert
"“We have to straighten out our press. Our press is very corrupt, almost as corrupt as our elections.""
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- Donald Trump
"“A 27 year old punching a 60-year-old man? Is this what the white man has reduced himself to? Who’s he gonna fight next, Morgan Freeman? I hate Jake Paul. I hate him like cocaine hates monogamy.”"
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- "SNL" host Chris Rock
"“According to the Time website, the person of the year is bestowed upon ‘a person, group, or concept that had the biggest impact for good or for ill.’ Which, that’s him, all right. It was a no-brainer in every sense of the word.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Can you believe it? We’re only officially two weeks away from Christmas. Today, every Amazon driver looked at their family and said, ‘Well, see you in 2025.’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“Can’t guarantee tomorrow? When Trump said Make America Great Again, was he only talking about until the close of business hours?”"
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- Seth Meyers, on Donald Trump saying he "can't guarantee tomorrow" that prices won't go up
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