""He voted by mail today for the special election in Florida. He’s unbelievable... Donald Trump claiming he wants to protect election integrity is like Bill Cosby telling you he’ll watch your drink for you.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
Quotes
"“President Trump said in a post today on Truth Social that he does not want ICE agents to wear masks while they assist with airport security — ’cause you definitely want to see their faces when they find out a bottle of water is $9.""
- Seth Meyers
"“It’s definitely the stupidest name I’ve ever heard. It sounds like a VHS tape [Pete] Hegseth put out of himself doing karate in a garage.""
- John Oliver on Operation Epic Fury
""President Trump praised the Japanese prime minister’s understanding of English and added, ‘I haven’t picked up your language.’ Oh, nobody thought you had picked up Japanese. You already have your hands full with English.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“I cannot believe I’m agreeing with Rand Paul, but he’s right. The only kind of duel that’s still legal is Fanduel. ‘Fanduel: We should be illegal, too.’”"
- Stephen Colbert
"“I feel like two things seem equally possible: Either Trump’s lying, or Joe Biden doesn’t remember talking to him.”"
- Jimmy Fallon, on President Trump claiming a former president expressed regrets that he hadn't taken the action Trump has in Iran
"“As many of you know, war is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. And class is in session. I give you: the Strait of Hormuz.” "
- Jon Stewart
""'F1' was great... It’s the story of a race car driver who finally wins after deciding to go faster.""
- Oscars host Conan O'Brien
""Today Iran’s new supreme leader issued his first public comments and, weirdly, they were all about Donna Kelce’s home renovations.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“We can’t handle a drone strike. We barely survived the writers’ strike here, OK?” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
CynCity
Cynsiders
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