"“People haven’t moved on, because Trump and his MAGA base spent years cynically hyping up the Epstein conspiracy. They thought only their political enemies would be harmed. But they either forgot or conveniently ignored the fact that Donald Trump was Epstein’s best friend. It’s like basing an entire political movement around your opposition to Bert, and then voting for Ernie for president.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“Just a reminder, this man is still the president of the United States. There’s a lot going on in the world, and he’s at a ribbon-cutting ceremony to promote his golf course? Is this his side hustle, or is America his side hustle?” "
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- Desi Lydic
"“Last time I saw a ball-drop that obvious, Anderson and Andy were hammered.”"
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- Stephen Colbert, on President Trump’s caddy moving his ball to a better position during a round of golf in Scotland
""'May every day be another wonderful secret' is absolutely what would be inside a Hallmark card if they had a subcategory called Birthday For Prolific Sex Traffickers.""
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- John Oliver
""All people want to talk about is Epstein, and Trump doesn’t. It’s annoying. It’s like getting to sit down with Buzz Aldrin and him saying, ‘You can ask me anything except the moon.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""This whole time, Trump already knew he was in the Epstein files, which is a good reminder that if someone’s acting guilty, they’re probably guilty. No one’s ever like, ‘Don’t look at my browser history — you’ll see all the charities I volunteer for!’”"
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- Josh Johnson
""Whenever Trump is backed into a corner, he needs to change the subject and throw red meat to the carnivorous base — and their favorite cut is filet of Obama.” "
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- Stephen Colbert
"“We were two pretty good-sized fish in a reasonably small basic cable pond. Both of our shows reached an inflection point in 2015. Stephen chose to challenge himself by seeing if he could succeed the legendary David Letterman in, quite frankly, a much bigger pond than the one he and I had been swimming in, and I quit.” "
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- Jon Stewart
"“Stephen is one of the sharpest, funniest hosts to ever do it. I really thought I’d ride this out with him for years to come. I’m sad that my family and friends will need a new show to watch every night at 11:30. But honestly, he’s really been a gentleman and a true friend over the years, going back to 'The Colbert Report,' and I’m sure whatever he does next will be just as brilliant.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“I do want to say that the folks at CBS have been great partners. I’m so grateful to the Tiffany network for giving me this chair and this beautiful theater to call home. And of course I’m grateful to you, the audience, who have joined us every night in here, out there, all around the world, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea. I’m grateful to share the stage with this band, these artists over here every night. And I am extraordinarily, deeply grateful to the 200 people who work here.”"
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- Stephen Colbert, on the cancellation of "The Late Show"
