Quotes

""We should be able to settle our disagreements civilly. In the end, as Americans, we are all brothers and sisters. Or at least Mike Johnson and I look like we are.” "
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- Stephen Colbert
"“Political violence only leads to more political violence, and I pray with all my heart that this is the aberrant action of a madman and not a sign of things to come.”"
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- Stephen Colbert
"“According to The Wall Street Journal, Jeffrey Epstein’s estate has given Congress a copy of the infamous 2003 birthday book, including the letter signed by President Trump. ‘So you do remember birthdays!’ yelled Eric.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“You know how much of a jerk you have to be to get booed by a tennis crowd? They’re not like natural booers — they’re Chablis-drinking Volvo drivers who think strawberries are a dessert.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""Even I know there are certain things you’re allowed to tell people to put in their kids’ bodies: water, for instance; nutrients; one piece of dog food just to end the discussion and, also, life-saving vaccines.”"
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- John Oliver
"“The state where we all send all of our grandparents is eliminating vaccines, so enjoy your Golden Weeks!” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“The people who are trying to eliminate the measles vaccine believe it would be dangerously irresponsible to release [the Epstein] files.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Over the weekend, baseless rumors that President Trump had died circulated wildly on social media. ‘Welcome to the club,’ said Joe Biden through a Ouija board.” "
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- Greg Gutfeld
""Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.""
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- David Frost
"“There is a sick rumour going around that Fake News NBC extended the contract of one of the least talented late-night television hosts out there, Seth Meyers. He has no Ratings, Talent, or Intelligence, and the Personality of an insecure child.""
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- President Trump, on the contract extension announced in May 2024
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