"“One of the concerns that Democrats had about getting into this was that Trump might take the opportunity to fire a whole bunch of federal workers. He promised to do that, but according to at least one White House official, they haven’t acted on it because ‘we do not want to appear gleeful about people losing their jobs.’ Unless, of course, those people work at a late-night talk show — in which case, it’s entirely different.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Air traffic controllers are considered to be essential workers, which means they are required to work even if they aren’t getting paid. Meanwhile, Congress, the people who actually shut the government down, are getting paid in full. Don’t even try to make sense of it. The logic doesn’t fly, and I would recommend that you don’t either, at least for quite a while.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“At this point, finding a toenail in your salad has a seven-point lead over Donald Trump.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“The NFL 'controversially' gave the Super Bowl Halftime show to one of the hottest, most commercially successful people alive.""
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- John Oliver
"“No one has any idea how long it will last. People are calling it the ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ of government shutdowns.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“Just to give you some perspective, the government being shut down is even worse than when it’s up and running.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""Trump is threatening to make ‘irreversible cuts' if there’s a shut down, which — you know what? I was recently the victim of a government shutdown. They are reversible, I will tell you that.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""History will never forget the Battle of Portland, when we freed the citizens from the tyranny of overpriced doughnut shops and white ladies with dreadlocks named Raindrop.”"
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- Stephen Colbert
"“What I’m feeling goes beyond myself. It’s for those who came before me and ran countless yards so I could come in and score a touchdown… this is for my people, my culture and our history.""
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- Bad Bunny, on performing the Super Bowl halftime show
"“They act like they dropped him into shark-infested waters. It was an escalator. You know what another word for frozen escalator is? Stairs.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
