Quotes

"“If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.”"
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- William Lyon Phelps
""President Trump is expected to attend the [World Cup] game. Argentina and Spain both pointed at each other, like, ‘And he’s rooting for you.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“The book is about what Biden remembers from his presidency, so it’s three pages.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“In a phone interview this morning with 'Fox and Friends,' President Trump said that the late Senator Lindsey Graham would call him all the time, and added, ‘I’d say, “Stop calling me, Lindsey."' What a touching tribute. Very rare for the person giving the eulogy to say, ‘I wish I’d talked to him less.’”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“I think we all, after just seeing this whole journey from beginning to end, that we all literally f---ing won. We’ve all found a good connection. We’ve all created a friendship that has turned into a family.""
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- "Love Island USA's" Trinity
""We had to abandon the Qatari plane for security concerns. Of course that happened. This is why when it comes to the most important plane in the world, you don’t go certified pre-owned.” "
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- Ronny Chieng
""You know how Trump’s been bragging about his cease-fire with Iran every day for the past three weeks? Well, today he said it’s already over. Mm-hmm. Can you say something is over when it never really got started? That’s like me saying my relationship is over with Michael B. Jordan.”"
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- Tiffany Haddish
"“This man didn’t know what a red card is. But you know what he did know? How to get a guy a pardon.” "
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- Ronny Chieng, on President Trump intervening in Folarin Balogun's World Cup suspension
"“I am going to be real honest with you — there was more people at my D.U.I. trial.” "
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- Tiffany Haddish on the crowd size at the country's 250th birthday celebration with President Trump
""This is just an insane day. It's one of the most insane days in Norwegian history.""
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- Norway's Erling Haaland, whose two late goals handed Norway an upset World Cup victory over Brazil
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