"“I don’t even know which of these companies [Paramount or Netflix] is going to be my new business daddy yet. It’s like a Mamma Mia! situation except less fun and way less sexy. But incidentally, if it is indeed Netflix, sorry for all the times I called your catalog a ‘who’s who of who the f*** is this?'”."
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- John Oliver
" “When I read the book, I could only see one person playing it, and we’re lucky enough that she said yes, the second luckiest yes I’ve gotten from her.”"
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- Daivd E. Kelley, on casting his wife, Michelle Pfeiffer, in "Margo's Got Money Troubles"
"“President Trump might be feeling a bit lonely this Valentine’s Day, because this fund-raising email has been going out from the R.N.C. that says, ‘Do you still love me? I miss you.’ And then it asks you to take a poll, and then, like a lot of dirtbag boyfriends, it asks you for money.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“It just felt like it organically grew into what it was supposed to be, based on the love that I have for human beings, for sport, and for the country that I’m from.”"
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- Snoop Dogg to the WSJ, on his success as Honorary Coach at the Olympics
"“Keep in mind, this is not how these hearings traditionally go. The attorney general used to carry some level of seriousness and gravitas. It’s only recently that they’d spend a congressional hearing acting like a bratty senior who got called into the principal’s office.”"
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- Jordan Klepper
""Donald Trump isn’t the only member of the administration in the hot seat. So is Howard Lutnick, commerce secretary and dad of a family staying at The White Lotus.” "
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- Jordan Klepper
"“The MAGA-verse was so hopping mad about Bad Bunny. It really is amazing how differently people can see the same thing. Half of us saw a heartwarming story of immigrants who had dreams to come to America — work hard, get married, grow up, raise families, sing, dance, play backgammon. The other half, it was like the movie ‘28 Days Later.’ It was a terrifying attack on humanity led by Jessica Alba.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Our members’ lived experience is no longer properly reflected in the contract, and so those things have to be brought into alignment.""
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- SAG-AFTRA president Sean Astin
"“During his remarks this morning at the National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump said that he has done a lot for religion and added, ‘Religion is back, now hotter than ever before.’ Well, he definitely has a lot more people saying ‘Jesus Christ.’” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“I guess he spent all the budget on ‘Melania.’ Well, well done, Jeff.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
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