Quotes

"“The Irish people have been through a lot, you know, centuries of British occupation, the great famine, mass emigration, that U2 album that automatically got downloaded on everyone’s phones.”"
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- "SNL" host Paul Mescal
"“They kept referring to it as ‘Biden’s final tree-lighting ceremony,’ which, when you’re his age, is probably not what you want to hear.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Apparently, the reports of the drinky-drink are making Trump doing the thinky-think, because word is Trump’s support for Hegseth is teetering, much like Pete Hegseth at a staff meeting."
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- Stephen Colbert
""Yes, Joe Biden did say he wasn’t going to pardon Hunter. But, to be fair, there’s a very good chance he doesn’t remember saying that.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Apparently, Trump’s tariffs on Mexico will cause the price of Modelo and Corona beer to go up. Every MAGA supporter heard and was like, ‘Well, guess it’s time to forgive Bud Light.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""President Biden presided over the annual White House turkey pardon and granted clemency to Peach, Blossom and, before anyone noticed, Hunter.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“At least Dr. Oz is an actual doctor. I’m impressed he didn’t pick Dr Pepper.”"
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- Desi Lydic
"“The fact that Matt Gaetz was stupid enough to pay for sex with Venmo — that alone should be disqualifying.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Rather than making policies that benefited Americans, [Democrats] slid mindlessly into the toxic bath of identity politics. This wasn’t thinking, it was the cessation of thought. Like when you’re in a coma or watching ‘Fox & Friends.’” "
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- Greg Gutfeld
""[TikTok] can quickly figure out exactly what you like and feed you more of the same thing over and over again, not unlike a doting grandmother or Marvel Studios.""
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- John Oliver
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