"“According to the Time website, the person of the year is bestowed upon ‘a person, group, or concept that had the biggest impact for good or for ill.’ Which, that’s him, all right. It was a no-brainer in every sense of the word.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Can you believe it? We’re only officially two weeks away from Christmas. Today, every Amazon driver looked at their family and said, ‘Well, see you in 2025.’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“Can’t guarantee tomorrow? When Trump said Make America Great Again, was he only talking about until the close of business hours?”"
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- Seth Meyers, on Donald Trump saying he "can't guarantee tomorrow" that prices won't go up
"“The New York Mets last night signed outfielder Juan Soto to a $765 million deal, stealing him from their hated crosstown rivals, the Yankees. And as a Mets fan, I have to say I am very excited to see how terribly this will inevitably go for us.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“The Irish people have been through a lot, you know, centuries of British occupation, the great famine, mass emigration, that U2 album that automatically got downloaded on everyone’s phones.”"
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- "SNL" host Paul Mescal
"“They kept referring to it as ‘Biden’s final tree-lighting ceremony,’ which, when you’re his age, is probably not what you want to hear.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Apparently, the reports of the drinky-drink are making Trump doing the thinky-think, because word is Trump’s support for Hegseth is teetering, much like Pete Hegseth at a staff meeting."
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- Stephen Colbert
""Yes, Joe Biden did say he wasn’t going to pardon Hunter. But, to be fair, there’s a very good chance he doesn’t remember saying that.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Apparently, Trump’s tariffs on Mexico will cause the price of Modelo and Corona beer to go up. Every MAGA supporter heard and was like, ‘Well, guess it’s time to forgive Bud Light.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""President Biden presided over the annual White House turkey pardon and granted clemency to Peach, Blossom and, before anyone noticed, Hunter.”"
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- Seth Meyers
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