Quotes

""Tomorrow I turn 100. That’s as believable to me as today I’m 99.”"
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- Norman Lear
"“On Saturday, the W.H.O. declared monkeypox a global health emergency. No, no, W.H.O.! No new health emergencies until you finish your Covid, little mister!”"
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- Stephen Colbert
""That is the gait of a man who’s either just gassed up an insurrection that is now bearing down on top of him, or just drank a large iced coffee 45 minutes ago. Either way, those legs scream ‘I’ve made a huge mistake.’”"
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- John Oliver, on the video of Sen. Josh Hawley fleeing Jan. 6 rioters
"“The White House announced that President Biden has a mild case of Covid. On the bright side, it’s the first positive news Biden’s gotten in months.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“I don’t know if I can watch the show yet. It’s just too emo because I miss everyone so much. I mean, it’s my family for sure – my other family. I think I’m just going to tape 'The Bachelorette' and watch that instead.”"
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- Kate McKinnon on leaving SNL
"“It’s so hot right now, the fantasy suite on ‘The Bachelorette’ is just the back of an ice cream truck.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
""Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez reportedly got married over the weekend. Because right now, that’s the only way a Red Sox fan can get a win in the Bronx.”"
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- Seth Meyers
""Mars may be a fixer upper of a planet, but it has great potential!""
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- Elon Musk
" “The Emmy noms didn’t break for #ThisIsUs today — if you’re happy when they go your way, you’ve got to take it on the chin when they don’t.""
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- T
""All of these details should disturb everyone.""
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- Fox News legal analyst Jonathan Turley, on Tuesday's January 6 hearing
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