""There are a lot of reasons people think that Trump is going to run again, all right? They think he wants to avoid an indictment, they think he thinks he already won last time — it could be the fact that he has a Cinemax movie in the White House DVR that he wants to finish watching.”"
Tweet It
- Trevor Noah
" "TV writers think, 'I’m writing for the centuries, so I won’t make anything too current.' There’s a certain cowardice or indifference with that.""
Tweet It
- Robert King ("The Good Fight")
"“These guys went from devoting themselves to Trump for over six years to suddenly tossing him overboard in the span of 24 hours. I’ve got to say, it’s fun to watch. Fox News vs. Trump is like ‘Alien vs. Predator,’ or ‘Godzilla vs. Kong,’ or Biden vs. stairs.”"
Tweet It
- Seth Meyers
"“I would say it was less like a red wave and more like a red wedding. The Republicans were the Starks, and Donald Trump was a dragon who burned his whole [expletive] party to a crisp.”"
Tweet It
- Seth Meyers
"“Former President Trump referred to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis as ‘Ron DeSanctimonious,’ which is a risky move for Trump, because that’s six syllables.”"
Tweet It
- Seth Meyers
"“The only thing your résumé has that his doesn’t is typos.”"
Tweet It
- Seth Meyer, on Herschel Walker saying he'd put up his resume against President Obama's any time
"“At a campaign stop in Wisconsin, Republican Senator Ron Johnson said that he is not sure if he will accept the results of next week’s midterm elections and added, ‘Do Democrats have something up their sleeves?’ Have you met the Democrats? They famously have nothing up their sleeve. The best they can manage is a quarter behind the ear.”"
Tweet It
- Seth Meyers
""[Elon Musk} fired the entire [Twitter] board, and he’s now floating the idea that verified users may have to pay $20 a month to retain their blue check marks. Not his worst idea. His worst idea would be buying Twitter.” "
Tweet It
- James Corden
"“It has been a busy week from massive protests still ongoing in Iran to the fact that Tom Brady suddenly has one less ring.”"
Tweet It
- John Oliver
""Unless we already associate you with Kanye, you didn’t have to announce that you were cutting ties. We didn’t need Peloton to announce, ‘We’re no longer playing Kanye’s music.’ Thanks, Peloton, now we can rest easy knowing we won’t hear ‘Gold Digger’ while we have a heart attack on your bike.”"
Tweet It
- Colin Jost, on SNL's Weekend Update
