"“These guys went from devoting themselves to Trump for over six years to suddenly tossing him overboard in the span of 24 hours. I’ve got to say, it’s fun to watch. Fox News vs. Trump is like ‘Alien vs. Predator,’ or ‘Godzilla vs. Kong,’ or Biden vs. stairs.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“I would say it was less like a red wave and more like a red wedding. The Republicans were the Starks, and Donald Trump was a dragon who burned his whole [expletive] party to a crisp.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“Former President Trump referred to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis as ‘Ron DeSanctimonious,’ which is a risky move for Trump, because that’s six syllables.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“The only thing your résumé has that his doesn’t is typos.”"
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- Seth Meyer, on Herschel Walker saying he'd put up his resume against President Obama's any time
"“At a campaign stop in Wisconsin, Republican Senator Ron Johnson said that he is not sure if he will accept the results of next week’s midterm elections and added, ‘Do Democrats have something up their sleeves?’ Have you met the Democrats? They famously have nothing up their sleeve. The best they can manage is a quarter behind the ear.”"
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- Seth Meyers
""[Elon Musk} fired the entire [Twitter] board, and he’s now floating the idea that verified users may have to pay $20 a month to retain their blue check marks. Not his worst idea. His worst idea would be buying Twitter.” "
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- James Corden
"“It has been a busy week from massive protests still ongoing in Iran to the fact that Tom Brady suddenly has one less ring.”"
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- John Oliver
""Unless we already associate you with Kanye, you didn’t have to announce that you were cutting ties. We didn’t need Peloton to announce, ‘We’re no longer playing Kanye’s music.’ Thanks, Peloton, now we can rest easy knowing we won’t hear ‘Gold Digger’ while we have a heart attack on your bike.”"
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- Colin Jost, on SNL's Weekend Update
""I don't think Twitter can be successful without me.""
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- Donald Trump, to Fox News DIgital
"“Twitter can obviously not become a free-for-all hellscape where anything can be said with no consequences!”"
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- Elon Musk
