"“All Tucker Carson proved is that you can make anything better by not showing the bad part.”"
- Marlon Wayans
Quotes
"“These were not insurrectionists. They were sightseers.""
- Fox News host Tucker Carlson on the January 6 mob at the Capitol
"“It’s like saying, ‘That new restaurant is better than this chicken potpie that fell on a sidewalk.'” "
- John Oliver, on Ron DeSantis being called "Donald Trump with a brain"
""Trump’s excited to be there. He actually spent all day in the lobby signing copies of his classified documents.” "
- Jimmy Fallon, on CPAC
"“Women’s History Month started as Women’s History Week back in 1982, and then somebody thought, you know, ‘Hey, women should probably get more time than sharks on the Discovery Channel.’” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
""As an anarchist, I don’t do well with mandates.""
- Woody Harrelson
""Maybe this is why Donald and Melania sleep in separate bedrooms — she was laughing too hard at my monologue at night.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
""China is trying to help the war in Ukraine and proposed a 12-part plan for peace. The catch is, the 12 parts have to be assembled by children.""
- SNL's Michael Che
"“You know, these are not like the nine greatest experts on the internet.""
- Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan
"“It is important to me that CNN balances accountability with fostering a culture in which people can own, learn and grow from their mistakes.”"
- CNN CEO Chris Licht, on Don Lemon's return to the air
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