"“The House majority chose Scalise by a vote of 113-99. It’s still unclear, though, if he has enough votes to win the speakership because that would require Republicans to accept the results of an election, and that’s really not their thing.” "
Tweet It
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Joe Biden spent his October Prime Day trying to figure out where the hell this woman Alexa who keeps yelling at him is hiding.” "
Tweet It
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“After leaving the White House, former President Trump reportedly shared details about the capabilities of U.S. nuclear submarines with an Australian billionaire, including how close they can sail to Russian vessels without being detected. Said Trump, ‘Oh, come on, I’m not an idiot — I told Putin first.’" "
Tweet It
- Seth Meyers
""Tell 'em I'm not here.""
Tweet It
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, when a host's phone went off during his interview on "The View"
"“I always thought we were underestimated, but it turns out, even I underestimated #Suits. It’s good to be the King.”
"
Tweet It
- "Suits" creator Aaron Korsh, tweeting about the the streaming success of the show
"“This guy is claiming Matt Gaetz was running around on the floor of the House showing his amateur porn to anybody he could find, to everybody who works with him. That makes him sound like the over-the-top bad employee example they use in H.R. training videos.” "
Tweet It
- Stephen Colbert
""Only the Republicans would consider giving the job of speaker to someone who is under a gag order. It’s like hiring a French mime as your new N.F.L. play-by-play guy.” "
Tweet It
- Seth Meyers, on the possibility that Donald Trump could be named speaker of the House
"“Nine months? I’ve been to Phish concerts longer than that.”"
Tweet It
- Jimmy Fallon, on House Speaker Kevin McCarthy's ouster
"“We’ve been gone so long, ‘The Bachelor’ is now a grandfather.”"
Tweet It
- Jimmy Kimmel, on his talk show return
"“Been a long time, let’s not ever be apart this long.”"
Tweet It
- Bill Maher, returning to "Real Time"
