""President Biden won the South Carolina Democratic primary, barely edging out his closest rival - time.""
- SNL's Colin Jost
Quotes
"“When asked yesterday about the recent pictures showing red marks on his hands, Former President Trump said that he had not seen the photographs and added, ‘Maybe it’s A.I.’ OK, who taught him that? Because now that’s going to be his answer for everything.”"
- Seth Meyers
" “It won’t be January 6, it won’t be the election fraud or the sexual assault or dancing with Jeffrey Epstein, or even fathering Don Jr. What’s finally going to bring down Donald Trump will be an army of pissed-off Swifties.”"
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“I saw that Trump just took credit for the record-high stock market under Biden. Trump was like, ‘If I had not not lost the election, this never would have happened.’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""I hope Taylor [Swift] makes it, because I really want to watch the Apple Music Super Bowl LVIII Halftime Show starring shaky footage of Taylor Swift Cheering in a Skybox, featuring Usher.” "
- Stephen Colbert
""Spirit Airline shares have fallen 58% after a federal judge blocked a merger with Jet Blue. So now the only way Spirit and Jet Blue will merge is mid-air.""
- Colin Jost, on SNL's Weekend Update
""Nikki Haley has no plans to stop. She will not drop out. Last night, she told supporters that the race is far from over – she still has literally dozens of states to lose.”"
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“In a new interview, presidential candidate Nikki Haley questioned former President Trump’s mental fitness and said that she thinks he is ‘declining,’ while Trump thinks Nikki Haley is that lady from ‘Law and Order.’” "
- Seth Meyers
"“This is one of the most spectacular political crash-and-burns of all time. At least DeSantis doesn’t have to worry about banning history books anymore, because he won’t be in them.”"
- Stephen Colbert
"“I’m not here necessarily to bash the competition, although I am perfectly capable of doing that.”"
- Judge Judy Sheindlin, endorsing Nikki Haley
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