""Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
Quotes
"“That is a man who talks non-stop about how he’s one of the richest men on Earth, begging strangers for money in a hostage video that looks that it was filmed in a house haunted by the world’s tackiest ghosts.""
- John Oliver, on Donald Trump
""New York just became the first U.S. city to approve congestion pricing, which means cars that drive into Midtown Manhattan will have to pay an extra $15. A $15 toll. And that’s not all; the city announced some other new tolls, too. You’ll have to pay $15 if you make eye contact with someone on the subway for more than three seconds.” "
- Jimmy Fallon
""The guy who’s about to go on trial for paying hush money to cover up an affair with a porn star is selling Bibles. And because it’s a Trump Bible, most of the Ten Commandments are blacked out.”"
- Seth Meyers
"“No organization, particularly a newsroom, can succeed unless it is cohesive and aligned,. Over the last few days, it has become clear that this appointment undermines that goal.”"
- Cesar Conde, head of NBCU News Group, announcing Ronna McDaniel's exit
"“He’s not a real rich guy; he just plays one on TV. Donald Trump has a billion dollars the same way Patrick Stewart has a spaceship.”"
- Stephen Colbert
"
“The triumph of tonight is we found something Kevin Hart doesn’t already have: the Mark Twain Award.""
- Jerry Seinfeld, at Sunday's ceremony
"“This lawsuit threatens who we are and the principles that set Apple products apart in fiercely competitive markets. If successful, it would hinder our ability to create the kind of technology people expect from Apple.""
- Apple's response to an antitrust lawsuit
"“My hope is that we get all the madness out in March, so we don’t have any left for November.”"
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“This shows you how different it is in the U.K. Kate [Middleton] goes missing for a few weeks, the whole country goes berserk. Meanwhile, we haven’t seen Melania since 2021.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
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