Quotes

""President Biden gave a prime-time address from the Oval Office about his decision to drop out of the race. Basically, on Sunday, he broke up with the country over text, and tonight, he met us for coffee to explain.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
""Kamala raised $81 million in 24 hours. She would have raised even more, but Melania hit her daily withdrawal limit.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""It was one of the rare times every cable news graphic said ‘Breaking news’ and it was breaking news.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon, on President Biden dropping out of the race
"“The news is moving so fast. We are taping on Saturday, and who knows where things will be by the time you actually watch this?”"
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- John Oliver, on Sunday's "Last Week Tonight With John Oliver"
"“We have to make life good for our smart people, and he’s as smart as you get.”"
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- Donad Trump, on Elon Musk
"“This is a sad day for actors everywhere. See? Anyone can do it!”"
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- Larry David, on his Emmy nomination
"“He looks like ‘Teen Wolf’ graduated and came back to coach the team.” "
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- Seth Meyers, on Republican VP candidate J.D. Vance
"“Former President Trump picked Ohio Senator J.D. Vance to be his running mate. Vance is 39, half Trump’s age. And it’s a weird coincidence, because Kamala Harris is 59, which is half Biden’s age.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""It’s going to be a whole different speech now.”"
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- Donald Trump, after the attempt on his life, on his upcoming Republican convention speech
""Maybe the only way Biden can win this fight is to assemble a crack team of well-funded, highly skilled bank robbers, ‘Ocean’s 11’ style. There’s Gavin Newsom, the smooth-talking frontman; Pete Buttigieg, the expert safecracker; and Kamala Harris, the genius card counter posing as the drunk aunt at the craps table.” "
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- Seth Meyers
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