Quotes

""The American people will decide if the next president will be Kamala Harris, or if everyone at 'SNL' will get audited.""
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- Weekend Update anchor Colin Jost
"“I have to say; if there is a single image that we will look back on and say, this defines what America was going through in 2024, I think it will be the Republican nominee for president dancing to the song ‘Y.M.C.A.’ in a garbage man costume.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Kamala Harris was like, ‘Can someone drop Joe in a corn maze and leave him there till Wednesday, just have him wander?’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“Donald Trump is the exact meeting point between QAnon and QVC. You remember when Ronald Reagan was selling high-tops in the 1980s? No, you don’t, because he wasn’t.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Former President Trump held a rally yesterday at Madison Square Garden in front of a crowd of 20,000 people, and it was the most vitriolic, rage-filled group of white people in that building since the last Rangers game.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“If Trump does win, he will be the oldest president ever, passing even Joe Biden, and remember what a bunch of laughs that was. Yeah, let’s do that again - but with a sex criminal. It would be like rebooting 'The Cosby Show,' with Bill Cosby.”"
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- Bill Maher
""Beyoncé will sing ‘Irreplaceable,’ and Biden will be like, ‘Too soon!’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon, on the singer's Harris campaign performance
"“This is the first election where reporters have to ask, ‘Who’d you root for when you watched “Saving Private Ryan”?’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“During his first solo campaign event in support of former President Trump last week, Elon Musk urged the crowd to ‘pester’ their friends and family who are not yet registered to vote, adding, ‘I would if I had either of those.’”"
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- Seth Meyers
""He had a great time at McDonald’s, ’cause for 20 minutes, Trump actually ran a successful business.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
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