""Trump asked Vance if he needed any debate advice, and Vance was like, ‘Absolutely. Do you have Kamala’s number?’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
Quotes
"“They say that me blaming the Democrats for inciting violence is the pot calling the kettle black. But frankly I didn’t know the kettle was black until very recently. I thought the kettle was Indian.”"
- "SNL's" James Austin Johnson, as Donald Trump
""[Eric] Adams is the first sitting mayor of New York City to be indicted. It’s shocking. When Rudy Giuliani heard that, he was, like, ‘That can’t be right.’” "
- Jimmy Fallon
""New York City officials actually said drivers should expect the slowest traffic of the year. You know traffic is slow when even Biden is like, ‘You know, I’m just going to get out and walk.’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“During a campaign event last week with Oprah Winfrey, Vice President Kamala Harris defended her right to own a gun and said, ‘If somebody breaks in my house, they’re getting shot.’ Whereas if someone breaks into Oprah’s house, they’re getting lost.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“By the way, if your cat goes missing, why would your first guess be someone ate it?” "
- Seth Meyers
""[Donald Trump's] rally at Nassau Coliseum was historic. The last time a president appeared at the Coliseum was when President Biden fought the lions in Rome.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“In a post to Truth Social over the weekend, former President Trump said, ‘I hate Taylor Swift!’ Sounds like he’s making a strong play for the 9-year-old brother vote.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“During a new interview, JD Vance admitted that he created the false claim about immigrants eating pets to create media attention. Trump was like, ‘Everyone knows the first rule of fake news is not admitting to fake news.’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""Welcome everybody to the 76th Emmy Awards — also known as broadcast TV's biggest night for honoring movie stars on streaming services." "
- Dan Levy
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