Quotes

"“I read that President Trump’s last-minute decision to pardon nearly every Jan. 6 rioter took a lot of his allies by surprise. They were like, ‘This isn’t the thoughtful, measured Trump we remember from the first term.’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
""[Trump] rescinded Joe Biden’s executive order lowering prescription drug prices for Americans on Medicare and Medicaid. Finally, someone’s looking out for Big Pharma.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“That’s not just a hat; it’s Melania’s very own border wall.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""It's hard for older people to understand how devastating a ban of TikTok would be for young people. Like, you know how your dad felt when CBS canceled ‘Blue Bloods’? Multiply that by whatever the amount the reverse mortgage he bought from Tom Selleck was, and you will understand.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“The Village People are set to perform on Sunday at the Turning Point Inaugural Eve Ball. It will be the first time Trump has ever paid a construction worker on time.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“You know who’s not helping? Congressional Republicans, because they want strings attached to California’s fire aid. That is an awful, awful way to respond to any emergency: ‘911, what’s in it for me?’”"
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- Stephen Colbert
"“All five members of the so-called ‘Presidents Club’ gathered today in Washington, D.C., for President Jimmy Carter’s state funeral. And it just goes to show you that, as a country, we really don’t have a type.” "
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- Seth Meyers
""Immediately after a campaign in which he repeatedly said he would bring down prices quickly and that it would be easy, he told Time magazine, ‘It’s hard to bring things down once they’re up. You know, it’s very hard.’ Trump will be a terrible president — he’d be an even worse airline pilot.” "
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- Seth Meyers
""Trump wants to merge with Canada. I feel like we’re close to him offering a throuple with Mexico.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""Justin Trudeau announced he will resign as prime minister. This is going to have massive repercussions. Do you realize with the loss of Trudeau, the hottest G7 leader is now Olaf Scholz?”"
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- Stephen Colbert
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