""It turns out the election was stolen — by more people voting for Donald Trump. It’s quite a caper: Ocean’s 74 Million.” "
- Jon Stewart
Quotes
""Don’t you guys worry, if I know Democrats, they’re gonna take a long look in the mirror, learn from their mistakes and then run Biden again in 2028.”"
- SNL's Colin Jost
"“The president gave a gracious speech. He told the nation, ‘You can’t love your country only when you win,’ which got a huge laugh in the lunchroom at Mar-a-Lago.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Trump returning to the White House is a huge historic comeback for someone who literally never went away.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""I promise you, this is not the end. And we have to regroup, and we have to continue to fight and continue to work day in and day out to create the better society for our children, for this world, for this country that we know is possible. It’s possible.”"
- Jon Stewart
"“The Harris campaign is cautioning against getting too excited. Too late! I have to be excited because I’ve only got two other choices: absolute terror or Absolut vodka.”"
- Stephen Colbert
""The American people will decide if the next president will be Kamala Harris, or if everyone at 'SNL' will get audited.""
- Weekend Update anchor Colin Jost
"“I have to say; if there is a single image that we will look back on and say, this defines what America was going through in 2024, I think it will be the Republican nominee for president dancing to the song ‘Y.M.C.A.’ in a garbage man costume.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Kamala Harris was like, ‘Can someone drop Joe in a corn maze and leave him there till Wednesday, just have him wander?’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“Donald Trump is the exact meeting point between QAnon and QVC. You remember when Ronald Reagan was selling high-tops in the 1980s? No, you don’t, because he wasn’t.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
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