Quotes

"“I never thought I’d live in a time where there’d be surge pricing on eggs. This is going to be a tough Easter, kids. Get ready to start hunting Swedish meatballs.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Canada? We’re picking a fight with our most reliable and pleasant friend? The labradoodle of allies?”"
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- Jon Stewart
"“I told myself if I ever won a Grammy and I got to stand up here in front of the most powerful people in music, I would demand that labels and the industry profiting millions of dollars off of artists would offer a livable wage and health care, especially to developing artists.""
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- Chappell Roan
"“Damn you, diversity initiatives! Why are you responsible for every historical tragedy? The fires in Los Angeles? D.E.I. The bridge collapse in Baltimore? D.E.I. The Irish potato famine? D.E.I. Slavery? D.E.I. Did you ever notice how many minorities were at slavery? It’s all D.E.I.”"
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- Michael Kosta
"“Another weird day in Washington today where a man who does not believe in medical science may soon be in charge of medical science.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""Sixty million people watched the game, and they all had the same thought: ‘How many Matthew McConaughey commercials can there be?’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""It is never a good time to bow down to a tyrant.”"
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- Jim Acosta, announcing his CNN exit
"“I do know that this is bad news financially, but is anyone else somewhat excited that A.I. had its job replaced by A.I.?”"
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- Jon Stewart, on China's DeepSeek
""I think the public loves him. The public misses him, but it's the people inside the business who are afraid.""
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- Don Lemon, on a possible comeback for Matt Lauer
"“The movie ‘I’m Still Here’ was nominated for best picture. It’s a film about Joe Biden’s last six months in office.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
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