"“Apparently, Trump’s tariffs on Mexico will cause the price of Modelo and Corona beer to go up. Every MAGA supporter heard and was like, ‘Well, guess it’s time to forgive Bud Light.’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
Quotes
""President Biden presided over the annual White House turkey pardon and granted clemency to Peach, Blossom and, before anyone noticed, Hunter.”"
- Seth Meyers
"“At least Dr. Oz is an actual doctor. I’m impressed he didn’t pick Dr Pepper.”"
- Desi Lydic
"“The fact that Matt Gaetz was stupid enough to pay for sex with Venmo — that alone should be disqualifying.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Rather than making policies that benefited Americans, [Democrats] slid mindlessly into the toxic bath of identity politics. This wasn’t thinking, it was the cessation of thought. Like when you’re in a coma or watching ‘Fox & Friends.’” "
- Greg Gutfeld
""[TikTok] can quickly figure out exactly what you like and feed you more of the same thing over and over again, not unlike a doting grandmother or Marvel Studios.""
- John Oliver
"“President-elect Trump announced yesterday on Truth Social that he is picking Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz to be his attorney general. Even crazier: Gaetz’s girlfriend just got Class President.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“Matt Gaetz as attorney general — this is a new low. I mean, not as low as our age-of-consent laws are about to be, but pretty low.”"
- Jordan Klepper
"“Kristi Noem shouldn’t be in charge of a PetSmart, let alone homeland security.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
""It turns out the election was stolen — by more people voting for Donald Trump. It’s quite a caper: Ocean’s 74 Million.” "
- Jon Stewart
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