Quotes

" “We were so scared that the government was going to turn into ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ that we didn’t see that the big threat was from the guys on ‘The Big Bang Theory.’” "
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- Bill Maher
"“I believe that the heart and soul of this show is the celebrity hosts, many of whom are in this room tonight. As I look around, I see some of the most difficult people I have ever met in my entire life.""
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- John Mulaney, on SNL50
"“R.F.K. Jr. is now in charge of the F.D.A., N.I.H. and C.D.C., to which Americans said, ‘OMG,’ ‘WTF’ and ‘FML.’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“President Trump spoke today with Russian president Vladimir Putin on the phone. And, bad news, you guys, we gotta change the name of the gulf again.” "
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- Seth Meyers
""[President Trump] is taking questions, having meetings, he’s tackling all the most important stuff. He did the same thing yesterday, all day. He canceled the penny, he changed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, and he finally got tough on paper straws.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“It’s never a good sign when the most dramatic part of a Super Bowl game is Harrison Ford talking about his Jeep.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Like you, I’m not sure exactly what’s coming next for this city we love so much. What I am certain of is that the people in this room will find creative, funny, and beautiful ways to remind us of the importance of the industry in this industry town.”"
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- Dana Walden, accepting the Milestone Award at the PGA Awards ceremony
""Kanye joined the fun and tweeted yesterday, ‘I love Hitler and I’m a Nazi.' Either he’s trolling or he’s angling for a cabinet appointment.”"
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- Bill Maher
"“While speaking today at the National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump said, ‘None of us knows exactly when our time on Earth will be over.’ I don’t know, I’m thinking whenever R.F.K. Jr. gets confirmed.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“All these years, I don’t know why no one else thought to call shotgun on the Holy Land.” "
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- Stephen Colbert
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