Quotes

""Imagine having so many terrible views that producing Mel Gibson is not the worst thing about you.""
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- John Oliver, on Gibson's conspiracy theorist, Holocaust denying father
"“We all continue to live in a world where so many factors have conditioned us to ‘look before we leap. In Season 4, the folks at AFC Richmond learn to leap before they look, discovering that wherever they land, it’s exactly where they’re meant to be.”"
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- Jason Sudeikis, on "Ted Lasso"
"“This business wildly overestimates what's going to happen in two years, but wildly underestimates what's going to happen in ten.”"
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- VAB CEO Sean Cunningham, at CTV Connect
"“Watching Donald Trump check out a Tesla — it was like watching a monkey with an iPad.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“When asked by reporters yesterday aboard Air Force One about the possibility of a recession, President Trump said that his tariffs will make the U.S. ‘so rich, you’re not going to know where to spend all that money’ — unless, you know, you’re feeling like an omelet.”"
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- Seth Meyers
" "Tesla’s CEO and white Kanye, Elon Musk wore a suit instead of a jacket and t-shirt to this week’s cabinet meeting after President Trump made fun of his clothing. It’s a refreshing reminder that bullying still works.”"
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- Colin Jost, on SNL's Weekend Update
""Canada is no longer selling bottles of Jack Daniel’s, Fireball and Tito’s Vodka, or, as Democrats are currently calling it, breakfast.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“It was the longest presidential address in more than 60 years. Why is it that the orchestra can play off an Oscar winner but not the president?” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
" "The night was pretty much a welcome back party for Trump, Republicans and measles.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“People care about the cost of groceries and health care, not whether the president of Ukraine has ever been to a Men’s Wearhouse.” "
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- Seth Meyers
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