Quotes

"“How have there been so many popes named Leo? Leo doesn’t even sound like a Pope name. Sounds more like the altar boy who got high and ate all the communion wafers.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“This is Donald Trump, so his big announcement could be anything from ‘I’ve achieved peace in the Middle East’ to ‘I just tried bucatini, and I’m never going back to regular spaghetti.’”"
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- Desi Lydic
""Trump said if Canada became the 51st state, it would be a ‘wonderful marriage.’ And people were, like, ‘How would he know?’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“In one weekend, [Trump] upset the two most religious groups of people on the planet — Catholics and ‘Star Wars’ fans.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“I am genuinely shocked Trump doesn’t drink alcohol, because that is the most drunk at an IHOP conversation I think I’ve ever heard.”"
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- John Oliver, on President Trump's interview with ABC's Terry Moran
""The U.S. economy is undergoing what economists refer to as a ‘George Costanza.’” "
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- Desi Lydic
""President Trump urged House Republicans to skip a celebration of his first 100 days in office to vote on his tax bill. Oh, I hate to break it to you, buddy — there wasn’t going to be a celebration.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“Donald Trump is the most unpopular president since Kevin Spacey.”"
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- Seth Meyers
""Unfortunately it feels right now we’re all about to get a harsh lesson in what each part of our public health system does as it gets taken away. Which is sort of like finding out what each of your organs does as someone removes them one by one.”"
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- John Oliver
"“It used to be Take Your Daughter to Work Day — remember that? — and it encouraged women in the workplace. Then over time it changed to Take Your Son or Daughter to Work. The rule is you have to pay your son 22 percent more than the daughter.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
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