"“Don’t news people have to tell you what they know when they find it out? Isn’t that the difference between news and a secret?”"
- Jon Stewart
Quotes
"“Has any president—has any person, ever, had a lower bar to clear? I have to salute the president. I certainly disagree with him on many things, but I have to applaud that after hearing this devastating news about Joe Biden, that Donald did not take cancer’s side.”"
- Jon Stewart
"“I remember literally thinking, ‘This show is not gonna last.'""
- Mark Cuban, saying goodbye after his 14th season on "Shark Tank"
""R.F.K. Jr. just testified before Congress, and he said, ‘I don’t think people should be taking medical advice from me.’ It’s ironic, because it’s actually some great medical advice.” "
- Jimmy Fallon
"If you ask me, the president should be forced to fly the same way the rest of us do. He should have to sit at Newark for six hours nursing a $30 Bloody Mary, and chewing on a pretzel while he waits for the one on-duty air traffic controller’s hands to stop shaking.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“Support ’60 Minutes.’ They deserve it. You have the power because you have the money. Support journalism. It’s important, and it doesn’t work without you.”"
- Jimmy Kimmel
"Saudi Arabia announced that they’re investing $600 billion in America. With the extra money, Trump’s thinking of hiring a second air traffic controller at Newark airport.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""President Trump confirmed that he’s planning to accept a superluxury Boeing 747 jumbo jet from the Qatari royal family and said it will be a ‘gift, free of charge.’ Dude, it’s a bribe. It couldn’t be any more obvious a bribe if they had put the plane inside a giant manila envelope.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“To think the prime age for playing with dolls is 11 is almost impressively wrong. Everyone knows the breakdown of what people play with by age goes: blocks from ages 1 to 3, dolls from ages 3 to 7 and our phones from ages 8 until we die.“"
- John Oliver
"“If you can’t get a seat at the table, you gotta find a different table. And maybe it’s at a place where you can also buy the table. I think that we do have to be a little bit creative sometimes and carve out our spaces.”"
- Busy Phillips, host of QVC+ late-night talk show "Busy This Week"
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