Quotes

"“The tariffs will raise prices for Americans, and costs could go up by $3,000 per year. Netflix was, like, ‘Game recognize game.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“President Trump is set to announce a new set of tariffs tomorrow in what he said will be ‘Liberation Day.’ Ah, yes, the day we’ll all finally be liberated from our 401(k)s.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“If you don’t like Trump tariffs, and not many people do, don’t you worry: One day he won’t be president — maybe.”"
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- Stephen Colbert
" “Colorado officials have removed a portrait of President Trump from the state capitol after Trump complained that it didn’t look good, calling it ‘purposefully distorted.’ In the artist’s defense, Trump did pose for the portrait with a hamburger inside his mouth.”"
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- SNL's Colin Jost
""Everyone’s still talking to me about the White House’s group chat scandal, but I saw that Trump said it’s ‘really not a big deal.’ That’s a relief. I mean, he said the same thing about Covid, and no problems there.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“This is an unprecedented failure of national security protocols and a grotesque disregard of the safety of American service members. Or, as Donald Trump would say: ‘No it isn’t.’”"
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- Stephen Colbert
"“Is Elmo now, or has he ever been, a member of the Communist Party?”"
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- Representative Robert Garcia, Democrat from California, duing a House hearing about PBS and NPR
"“President Trump — he claims he’s perfectly OK with it. He says he’s not planning to fire anybody. He says mistakes were made. What happened to this guy? He used to fire people on a daily — he fired Meat Loaf for less than this. Firing used to be his favorite thing. It’s kind of sad. He’s like an old dog who doesn’t chase the ball anymore.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Back in my day if you were a journalist who wanted leaked war documents, you had to work the sources, meet them in a dark garage, gain the trust, pound the pavement. Now, just wait for the National Security Director to be distracted by 'The White Lotus' while he’s setting up his bomb Yemen group chat.”"
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- Jon Stewart
"“I just want to start by saying, in light of the new leadership at the Kennedy Center, all of these are right wings.” "
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- Stephen Colbert, during a segment with chicken wings
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