"We felt it was time to debut a new look for the Hamburglar after he's been out of the public eye all these years. He's had some time to grow up a bit and has been busy raising a family in the suburbs and his look has evolved over time."
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- McDonald's spokesperson Joel Yashinsky, on why they've revived the former marketing character as a live human being
"You don't have to cry in every room."
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- Ashton Kutcher to his mom, who he surprised with a basement makeover, in a short video series on Houzz.com
"We knew that she didn't do anything wrong."
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- Bill Rancic, defending his wife Giuliana, whose comments on "Fashion Police" caused an uproar
"The only way I can really get my head around it is the matriarch of the family died. And the family fell apart. And the sisters started fighting. And everybody mourns and grieves differently. And then someone tried to marry into the family. And we know how that went. That's the only way I can sort of explain what happened."
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- Melissa Rivers, trying to explain what went wrong with the E! show she executive produces and her late mother Joan starred in, "Fashion Police"
"We could do things – I would help you raise your children…I can help you through the dark times."
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- First Lady Michelle Obama, trying to help David Letterman with his post-"Late Show" plans
"While everyone seems to be in agreement that alignment is a top priority, differences in measurement methodology stand in the way of an easy solution. "
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- Joe Abruzzo, EVP, Chief Exploration Officer, Havas Media North America, in the new Cynsiders
"The perfect beer for removing 'No' from your vocabulary for the night."
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- Bud Light's new slogan, which was roundly attacked and for which a company spokesperson has apologized
"I always bring my dates to my mother's house for the first date. I think that's a good move."
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- Jake Gyllenhaal on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," explaining that he likes the ladies in his life to meet his mom early on
"Yes, for all intents and purposes I am a woman."
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- Bruce Jenner, speaking to ABC's Diane Sawyer about his gender transitioning
"Why die on Mars, when you can live in South Dakota?"
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- New ad campaign to boost visitors to South Dakota, courtesy of the governor's office of economic development
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