"It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get the 'Tonight Show.'"
- David Letterman, in his final "Late Show" monologue, Wednesday night
Quotes
"Everyone has a black and gold tassel — or is it blue and white? Grandparents, just know this was the issue that divided a generation. You had the Vietnam War; your grandchildren had an ambiguously colored Tumblr post."
- Stephen Colbert, giving a commencement speech at Wake Forest University
"He said ... 'There is only one requirement for any of us and that is to be courageous, because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior.' ... We needed that [after 9/11]. David Letterman is courageous. Have a nice retirement, Dave."
- Jimmy Fallon on "Tonight Show," getting emotional over the "Late Show" host's imminent departure from TV
"It's probably my last show."
- Louis C.K., whose "Saturday Night Live" host monologue has drawn fire for inappropriateness
"Is this something left over from the bachelor days?"
- David Letterman reacting to George Clooney handcuffing the pair of them together on "The Late Show"
"[F]rom James L. Brooks' lawyer: 'show will go on, Harry will not be part of it, wish him the best.' This because I wanted what we've always had: the freedom to do other work. Of course, I wish him the very best."
- Harry Shearer on Twitter, revealing why he would not be returning to "The Simpsons" after 25 years
"I knew American Idol would never last without me #CANCELLED"
- Brian Dunkleman's response to the news that "American Idol" would go off the air after 15 seasons; Dunkleman left his co-hosting slot at the show after the first season
"He's a good dad with great kids and he'd be a super-fun babysitter!"
- Jimmy Fallon, explaining why he'd like Will Ferrell to look after his children sometime
"It's good that you're weird, because weird got you here."
- Kate McKinnon's mother, responding to the "Saturday Night Live" castmember's apology for being "so weird" as a kid, on "SNL"
"It was only once I completely committed that I started going, 'Not everyone is going to be thrilled you're playing God.' But you know what? Haters gonna hate."
- Jim Parsons on his new divine Broadway role in "An Act of God"
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