"Chipped front tooth trying to open tube of scar tissue repair gel for recovering finger injury."
- "Tonight Show" host Jimmy Fallon, who can't seem to catch a health-related break, on Instagram
Quotes
"The Internet is like a giant Jacuzzi, you know what I mean? There's all kinds of germs, like we're sharing everything."
- Josh Ostrovky, aka @FatJew, on being accused of stealing jokes
"I've seen babies dressed up like Cookie, men dressed up like Cookie, dogs dressed up like Cookie. But you have to be into drag. If you're not, it may not come off right."
- Taraji P. Henson on her out-there Empire outfits
"It was never even intended to be funny; it was just that he was dancing. The dance is ultimately Courteney Cox in the Bruce Springsteen video 'Dancing in the Dark.'"
- Alfonso Ribeiro on his Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Carlton Dance
"It's an odd thing that you can't go shopping with your friends because your store is upstairs hidden by the tire section."
- Melissa McCarthy, who has launched a clothing line, on "plus size" labels
"For the low price of only $25, you too can look like an 80-year-old greeter at Walmart."
- Jimmy Kimmel on Donald Trump's "Make America Great Again" hat, now available for sale on Trump's web site
"Bill has to humiliate you, if at all possible with Rebel Wilson on the Jumbotron at a Cubs game while you're throwing out the first pitch."
- The Real Time with Bill Maher host's advice for boosting Hillary Clinton's poll numbers
"The conspiracy theories about Megyn Kelly’s vacation rank up there with UFO’s, the moon landing and Elvis being alive. Megyn is on a pre-planned, annual summer vacation with her family, which is much deserved. To imply otherwise, as Donald Trump and his campaign operatives have, is not only wildly irresponsible, but downright bizarre.
"
- A Fox spokersperson
"This is not the fifth season; we're treating this as the 10th season — as if there were stories in between. I'd always wanted to tell the story of what happened in that time."
- Tim Kring, on how he's approaching the return of "Heroes" to series TV
"I'm just going to stay home in my sweatpants from now on."
- Screenwriter Diablo Cody, whose VOD film "Paradise" was critically panned
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