"“Support ’60 Minutes.’ They deserve it. You have the power because you have the money. Support journalism. It’s important, and it doesn’t work without you.”"
- Jimmy Kimmel
Quotes
"Saudi Arabia announced that they’re investing $600 billion in America. With the extra money, Trump’s thinking of hiring a second air traffic controller at Newark airport.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""President Trump confirmed that he’s planning to accept a superluxury Boeing 747 jumbo jet from the Qatari royal family and said it will be a ‘gift, free of charge.’ Dude, it’s a bribe. It couldn’t be any more obvious a bribe if they had put the plane inside a giant manila envelope.” "
- Seth Meyers
"“To think the prime age for playing with dolls is 11 is almost impressively wrong. Everyone knows the breakdown of what people play with by age goes: blocks from ages 1 to 3, dolls from ages 3 to 7 and our phones from ages 8 until we die.“"
- John Oliver
"“If you can’t get a seat at the table, you gotta find a different table. And maybe it’s at a place where you can also buy the table. I think that we do have to be a little bit creative sometimes and carve out our spaces.”"
- Busy Phillips, host of QVC+ late-night talk show "Busy This Week"
"“How have there been so many popes named Leo? Leo doesn’t even sound like a Pope name. Sounds more like the altar boy who got high and ate all the communion wafers.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“This is Donald Trump, so his big announcement could be anything from ‘I’ve achieved peace in the Middle East’ to ‘I just tried bucatini, and I’m never going back to regular spaghetti.’”"
- Desi Lydic
""Trump said if Canada became the 51st state, it would be a ‘wonderful marriage.’ And people were, like, ‘How would he know?’” "
- Jimmy Fallon
"“In one weekend, [Trump] upset the two most religious groups of people on the planet — Catholics and ‘Star Wars’ fans.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“I am genuinely shocked Trump doesn’t drink alcohol, because that is the most drunk at an IHOP conversation I think I’ve ever heard.”"
- John Oliver, on President Trump's interview with ABC's Terry Moran
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