"It seems there is nothing like a mass shooting to suddenly spark political interest in mental health. Although it's worth noting that Governor Huckabee's state got a grade of D- on mental health care while he was in office. And you can't lecture people on something you got a D- in."
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- John Oliver on Last Week Tonight
"Donald Trump. Isn't he the one that's like 'Oh, you're all losers?'"
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- Hillary Clinton, playing bartender "Val" on "Saturday Night Live"
"Under certain circumstances, if you feel uncomfortable, walk. If you feel something going negative, you don't have to tie a noose for your own hanging."
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- PR expert Howard Bragman, in a Hollywood Reporter article about the recent spate of actors walking out of interviews
"It's a stick-up."
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- Paul Sorrell, trust attorney overseeing late "Simpsons" co-creator Sam Simon's estate, over allegations that Simon's former dog (now willed to a new owner) required $140K/year in upkeep, in The Hollywood Reporter
"I used to read Gawker and Jezebel in college and be like, 'I can’t wait to get to New York where my people will be to welcome me.' And it’s like, it’s literally, if I read it, it’s like going back to a husband who beat me in the face — it just doesn’t make any sense."
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- "Girls" creator/star Lena Dunham on why she's distanced herself from some areas of the internet these days
"I ... want to do little things like open a window! I want to go to Target! I want to drive!"
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- First Lady Michelle Obama, telling "Late Show" host Stephen Colbert about her post-White House plans
"Nothing in my opinion is greater than live theater, and I love nothing more than music, so I look forward to trying to bring a new level of storytelling to the world in terms of the venue of Broadway."
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- "CSI" creator Anthony Zuiker, on the next entertainment frontier he plans to conquer
"We know that our audience is really excited about what's been going on with Jill and Jessa as they move into young adulthood. They're both at the precipice of big changes."
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- TLC's Nancy Daniels, about the channel's renewing their relationship with some of the Duggar family offspring
"If you have the feeling that it’s become harder these days to keep a secret, well, you’re right."
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- James Pooley, author of "Secrets: Managing Information Assets in the Age of Cyberespionage" in the new Cynsiders
"I have whiplash ... I'm a physical mess."
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- Neil Patrick Harris, about how hosting his new show "Best Time Ever" is exacting a physical toll
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