"This was not a movie."
- Harrison Ford, talking about his March plane crash on "Jimmy Kimmel Live"
Quotes
"I'm no longer officially retired. The horse is out of the stable and I'm raring to go."
- Phil Collins, announcing his return to the music world and probably the stu-stu-studio
"I can picture them in *some* office."
- Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, responding to "Late Show" host Stephen Colbert's question about whether she could picture fellow candidates Ben Carson and Donald Trump in office
"We will see Glenn, some version of Glenn or parts of Glenn, again, either in flashback or in the current timeline. We will complete the story."
- "Walking Dead" showrunner Scott M. Gimple on the ambiguous "ending" of a major character this past weekend
"Nothing that a few band aids couldn't fix."
- "Tonight Show" host Jimmy Fallon, in a caption accompanying his latest hand injury
"[Mike] Huckabee, what about Huckabee? I read this thing where he says, 'It's very trashy for women to curse.' What the f— is his problem?"
- Joy Behar, visiting "Jimmy Kimmel Live"
"It was the network's [NBC] decision, [but] I had sort of popping up in my head ... 'You know, if you are looking for a very good-looking British judge which sort of fits on this show, I know someone.'"
- Simon Cowell, explaining why he's joining "America's Got Talent" as a judge
"We both love otters because they're so sweet and also smart. They use tools, they keep their favorite tools, they hold hands while they sleep, there are so many amazing things about otters. They're wonderful animals."
- "New Girl" star Zooey Deschanel about why she and her husband gave their baby the middle name of "Otter"
"I think they're mostly into plastic surgery because they really want to look perfect."
- Little girl on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" explaining how Los Angeles-based people are different from those in her home city of New York
"I'm going to dial it right up to a 10: We're doomed! We need a revolution! We've got millions of people in the streets. We gotta do something and we gotta do it now!"
- Larry David as presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, on "Saturday Night Live."
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