Quotes

"Beautiful, gross, strong, thin, fat, pretty, ugly, sexy, disgusting, flawless, woman. Thank you @annieleibovitz."
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- Amy Schumer, tweeting about her photo in the latest Pirelli calendar
"When a Democrat is the guest, Colbert is Barbara Walters. When a Republican is on, he turns into Tim Russert."
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- The NY Post's Kyle Smith on The Late Show host Stephen Colbert
"Oh my God! You are in ‘Star Wars’? That is fantastic! I knew it! What is ‘Star Wars’?"
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- John Boyega on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, sharing his Nigerian-born father's reaction to his movie role
"Am I going to check every statistic?"
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- Donald Trump to Bill O'Reilly, defending his retweet of fake crime stats
"There will no longer be THAT email in your inbox every morning at 8AM, because THAT email is no longer relevant."
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- Fox CEOs Dana Walden and Gary Newman, in a memo explaining why the net will not longer use Live+SD ratings
"We always offend somebody on this show. We're always in trouble....We understand bulimia is a serious illness. We're just trying to have some fun over here."
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- Joy Behar, after The View hosts drew fire for joking about eating disorders
"You look like a groundhog who roadies for Bob Seger."
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- Johnny Knoxville, at a roast of Vice Media leader Shane Smith
"After over five years of dating, we felt the time was right for Sheldon and Amy to finally consummate their relationship."
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- The Big Bang Theory showrunner Steve Molaro on the the big night: December 17
"I have a responsibility now to better myself and to help a lot of other people, and hopefully with what we're doing today, others will come forward and say, thanks Charlie."
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- Charlie Sheen, revealing on Today that he is HIV positive
"[People ask], So how is your team so diverse? Because that's what I wanted."
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- The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore Show's Wilmore at the New York Comedy Festival
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