Quotes

"“Amid his escalating feud with Elon Musk, President Trump said last week that he was ‘not even thinking about Elon.’ Which is weird, because the question was about tariffs.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“You really wish the company was behind you 100%, right? You really wish the top echelons of the company would come out publicly and say, ’60 Minutes, for example, is a crown jewel of American journalism, and we stand by it 100%.' I haven’t heard that.”"
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- Scott Pelley, to CNN's Anderson Cooper
""Their relationship went off a cliff faster than a self-driving Tesla.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon, on Elon Musk and President Trump
""Congrats on coming out against a crazy thing in this bill, but you weren’t aware of what was in it? That’s your job! This isn’t book club — you can’t just read the first seven pages and then be like, ‘I love it. Linda, more rosé.’” "
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- Michael Kosta, on Marjorie Taylor Greene’s admitting she hadn’t read Trump’s "big beautiful bill" in full
"“Just days after leaving his official role at the White House, Elon Musk is now blasting President Trump’s ‘big, beautiful bill’ as a ‘disgusting abomination.’ And that’s coming from the guy who made the Cybertruck.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“The media needs to stop being polite when they report this stuff. This is the headline from NBC: ‘Trump Shares Unfounded Conspiracy Theory Claiming Biden Was “Executed” in 2020.’ Never mind ‘unfounded,’ this is not even a theory. That headline should be ‘Convicted Felon Posts Insane Fairy Tale About Cancer Patient While Constipated on Toilet.’” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.""
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- Bill Gates
"“I’ll see you on Dateline. In the meantime, please continue to take care of yourself, and each other.""
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- Lester Holt, signing off NBC Nightly News
""Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?""
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- Edgar Bergen
"“Teens rule, they are the only people who have no money that I want approval from.""
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- John Mulaney
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