""The man’s got a point. D.C. can be a very, very dangerous place. I remember on Jan. 6, 2021, when someone told an angry mob to get their steps in by storming the Capitol, and that someone was the president.”"
- Nicole Byer
Quotes
""It was nothing like the critics predicted. They expected me and Mr. Evil Fox News to attack Jimmy Fallon and they were mad when I did not. But I went on the show for the same reason I started the show. Late-night needs more fun. I was a gracious guest to a nice guy.”
"
- Greg Gutfeld
"“The ICE thing, they need more people, so they’re having a big recruitment program, no age limit....You can be old as dirt, if you like wearing a mask and throwing people in a van. Also a signing bonus. You have $50,000 signing bonus. You could put a porch on your house for that. Good luck finding anyone who could build it.”"
- Bill Maher
"“Netflix, call me I’m available in June.”"
- Stephen Colbert
"“Apple’s products themselves will not be made in America because Apple says, according to their research, the U.S. has a smaller pool of workers with the skills necessary to assemble an iPhone. How dare you, Apple! I believe America’s children can do anything!” "
- Stephen Colbert
"“President Trump yesterday was seen walking on the White House roof for nearly 20 minutes. Man, he is so desperate to distract people from the Epstein files, he’s literally doing ‘Hey, look over here.’” "
- Seth Meyers
""Going all the way back to Carol Burnett, I watch show bloopers more than I watch shows. There’s a freedom that is so full of accidental joy that completely energizes me. I’ve watched every 'Office' and 'S.N.L.' blooper more than I care to admit and have the gag reels of every season of 'Veep' on my Dropbox as an immediate antidepressant.""
- Tony Hale
"“When he heard about this employment crisis, Trump sprang into action and fired the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics. No! No, you fool! Now there’s one less job!""
- Stephen Colbert
"“These were not the shows my parents were bragging to their friends about.""
- Netflix executive Brandon Riegg, on his early work on reality shows
"“Trump’s very into fitness. In fact, right now he’s trying to run from the Epstein story as fast as he can.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
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