Quotes

""You were like an alien who studied human behavior, and got close but didn’t quite get there.""
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- Louis C.K., teasing Stephen Colbert about their time on The Dana Carvey Show
"“I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.” "
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- Charles De Gaulle
"“The official statement was, they made the move to encourage people to express themselves. Has Twitter read Twitter? No one is having a problem expressing themselves.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on Twitter changing its default avatar image
"“I’d say that 60-75% of the people that I encounter treat me like I was Jonas Salk and I cured polio.” "
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- Alec Baldwin, to CBS Sunday Morning's Rita Braver
"“Not only is Flynn willing to talk for immunity, he’s also coming out with a new book: ‘The Art of the Squeal.’”"
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- James Corden, on the news that former national security adviser Michael Flynn offered to talk to investigators of Trump campaign ties to Russia in exchange for immunity from prosecution.
"“I can’t believe they’re publicly taking the side of big internet cable companies. Taking the side of a cable company? The only thing less popular would be if they passed a bill allowing traffic jams to call you during dinner, to give you gonorrhea.”"
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- Stephen Colbert, on the House vote to allow internet companies sell customers' browsing information
"“We attacked him, said all these horrible things, said he was a racist, a bigot – it all rolled off his back. The minute we said Chris Christie and Bernie Sanders out-rated him, that was the end.”"
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- Morning Joe's Joe Scarborough to Seth Meyers, on why Donald Trump un-followed them on Facebook
"“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.” "
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- Mark Twain
""Trump was not happy. He said that if this healthcare bill didn’t pass, he'd just leave Obamacare in place. Kind of a weird threat – it's like saying, 'If you kids don't stop fighting back there, I'm driving this car STRAIGHT to Disney World!'""
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- Jimmy Fallon
""I honestly thought it was going to be kind of like a goofy CHIPS remake.""
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- Westworld's Jimmi Simpson, on how little he knew about the HBO drama when he joined the cast
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