Quotes

""Only Donald Trump could use a conversation about missile strikes in the Middle East to advertise the cake at Mar-a-Lago.""
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- John Oliver on Last Week Tonight, about the president's interview on Fox Business Network
""It was so big and fat, it almost looked like me in my golf clothes.""
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- Alec Baldwin-as-Donald Trump on SNL, about the "mother of all bombs" dropped on Afghanistan
"“Boy, I tell you, they must really want Seth Rogen back.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on Canadian legislation to legalize the use of recreational marijuana
""From the moment Sean Spicer appeared, it's just been sort of like, 'That's Mike McLintock from Veep!' In some ways he makes McLintock look pretty good at his job.""
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- Veep show runner David Mandel to the NY Times, comparing his comedy's bumbling White House press secretary to the real thing
"“Government’s first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.” "
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- Ronald Reagan
""It’s a bit of a shock every weekend when I go home, because my wife and my daughter do not treat me as if I’m the star of the show. I have to make my own coffee.""
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- Doctor Who's Peter Capaldi to the NY Times, on getting back to the real world
"“Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino from Jersey Shore is facing up to 15 years in prison on tax evasion charges....So basically, if you’re a reality star in this country and you don’t pay your taxes, we either put you in prison or make you president of the United States.”"
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- Conan O'Brien
""You people stand behind me, no matter what. It’s like you found a finger in your chili, but you still eat the chili, because you told everyone how much you love chili.”"
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- Alec Baldwin-as-Donald Trump on SNL, about Trump supporters
""Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.""
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- Don Rickles (1926-2017)
""‘Join the conversation’? That’s the most corporate message of all time. They might as well be holding signs that say, ‘We are all the core demographic.’”"
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- Stephen Colbert, on the controversial Pepsi ad featuring what he called an "attractive lives matter" march
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