""I don’t buy this stuff about him being mentally incompetent or early stages of dementia. He strikes me as a person of above average intelligence who’s tracking conversations and knows what’s going on. I don’t think he’s medically unfit to be president. I think he’s morally unfit to be president.""
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- Former FBI Director James Comey on President Trump, to ABC's George Stephanopoulos
"“A new report did not name New York City as one of the 25 best places to live in the country. ‘I’m shocked,’ said an adult New Yorker with six roommates.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“Experts say the majority of Facebook users had their data harvested from taking online quizzes. Yeah, so it’s worse than we thought: Now Russia knows how stupid we are.”"
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- Conan O'Brien
""Almost feel bad for Zuckerberg. There’s no way he left that room full of old people without having to set up their wifi."
"
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- A tweet from Stephen Colbert, on Facebook chief Mark Zuckerberg's Senate hearing
""My bet is that you'll actually agree with me on more issues than you think.""
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- Sean Hannity, inviting Jimmy Kimmel on his show post-Twitter feud
""I will take Sean Hannity at his word that he was genuinely offended by what I believed and still believe to be a harmless and silly aside referencing our First Lady's accent. I am hopeful that Sean Hannity will learn from this too and continue his newly-found advocacy for women, immigrants and First Ladies and that he will triumph in his heroic battle against sexual harassment and perversion.""
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- Jimmy Kimmel, in an apology for comments he made during a Twitter feud with Hannity
"“You know what I think is disrespectful of the first lady? Cheating on her with a porn star after she has a baby. Why don’t you rant a little about that, Sean Hannity?”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, after the Fox News host criticized him for making fun of Melania Trump's accent
""I wanted it to be a moat, filled with spiky blowfish. But I didn't want the Mexicans to pay for it. I wanted Alec Baldwin to pay for it.""
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- Mike Myers as Dr. Evil talking about President Trump's border wall, on The Tonight Show
""I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.""
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- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"“It just came out that Pope Francis once said that there’s no such thing as hell. And then he got stuck in Boarding Group C on Spirit Airlines, and he said, ‘Never mind, I found it.’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
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