Quotes

"“Kim Kardashian and Kanye West celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary today. ‘I love you more than ever,’ said Kanye to a mirror.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“At least in a James Bond movie, when the evil villain tells everyone his plan in detail, there’s a James Bond to stop him.""
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- James Corden, on President Trump telling Lesley Stahl he bashes the press to discredit them, so people won't believe negative stories about him
"“I heard that White House aides have told Trump to switch out his cellphone on a monthly basis, but he says it’s too inconvenient. Trump said, ‘The only thing I switch out on a monthly basis is my staff.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“Talking to the Queen about love is like talking to her about the transformative power of the Taco Bell $5 Chalupa Cravings box.” "
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- John Oliver on the reaction to Bishop Michael Curry at the royal wedding
"“The power of love is demonstrated by the fact that we’re all here. Two young people fell in love and we all showed up.”"
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- The Most Rev. Michael Curry, at the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
"“The White House announced today that President Trump would donate his first quarter’s salary to the Department of Veterans Affairs. It’s just a little less money than he’s given to veterans of his affairs.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“In addition to the big hit ‘MacGyver,’ this fall CBS will have the reboot of ‘Magnum P.I.’ and, as you saw, ‘Murphy Brown' - guaranteeing that we will be the No. 1 network in 2018 and 1988.”"
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- Stephen Colbert, at the CBS Upfront
""Somehow we have more people watching this upfront right now than most of our 10 o'clock shows.""
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- Jimmy Kimmel. at ABC's event
""It’s not surprising for NBC to be dramatic, we are home to the number one drama on television. A show that each week gives us twists and turns, heartbreaking reveals, and this season the departure of a once beloved character. I’m talking of course of, ‘This Is the Today Show.’”"
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- Seth Meyers, at NBCU's Upfront event
""This Mother's Day, give the gift that says 'yesterday was Mother's Day'.""
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- Conan O'Brien
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