Quotes

"“All 12 of those Thai boys and their soccer coach have been saved from the underwater cave. Very nice story. It’s a historic moment: This is actually the most Americans have ever cared about any soccer team, ever.”"
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- Conan O'Brien
"“‘I have long heard’ for Donald Trump means, he heard it this morning on ‘Fox & Friends.’”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, responding to Trump's tweet that he has long heard about the importance of a president's choice of a Supreme Court Justice
""I didn’t know the man. I knew the incredible craftsman that he is.”"
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- Robin Wright, asked on Today whether she saw any red flags in House of Cards co-star Kevin Spacey's behavior
""In the new James Bond movie, Bond apologizes to women for his behavior and is never seen again.""
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- Conan O'Brien
"“It’s been a really interesting year for me because a lot of my guy friends came out. As predators.”"
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- Comedian Michelle Buteau, in Netflix's The Comedy Lineup
""Anyone can be a god if he tries.""
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- The coach of Russia's World Cup team, the day before their stunning upset victory over Spain
" “You need an app to know why your baby is crying? Your baby is probably crying because it wishes it had better parents.”"
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- Trevor Noah, on an app that can tell from a baby's cry why it's upset
"“Mitt Romney won last night’s Utah Republican Senate primary. Romney celebrated by going to a victory party and turning the music down.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“ESPN’s annual Body Issue comes out this week. While everyone else’s body issues will come out after they read it.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“When I saw that Trump insulted me on Twitter, I was gonna tweet back immediately, but I thought, 'I have more important things to do.' Then I thought, 'Wait – shouldn’t HE have more important things to do?'”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
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