"“A man who could be convicted of every crime on earth and still not be as guilty as he looks.”"
- John Oliver's description of Paul Manafort
Quotes
"“I saw that Dunkin’ Donuts just introduced its first gluten-free menu item. It’s perfect for people who care about what they put in their body, but also don’t.” "
- Jimmy Fallon
"“Facebook and Instagram today rolled out new features that will allow you to put a time limit on how much you use Facebook and Instagram. The way it works is, you set a limit for yourself and when you hit that limit you get an alert. And then you ignore it, and you keep going.”"
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Facebook is working on a talent-show feature that will let users record themselves singing and then upload their video for comments. Facebook even has a catchy name for it: YouTube.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“The new ‘Mission Impossible’ won the box office this weekend, bringing in over $60 million. They’ve already come up with the plot for the next ‘Mission Impossible’: getting Rudy Giuliani to stop talking.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""My son just came home from robotics camp. At least, I think that's him.""
- Conan O'Brien
"“It was just reported that a $40 million yacht owned by Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos was untied from its dock, causing the boat to drift away and crash. It was completely unmoored, drifting aimlessly. Oh no, wait — that’s her plan for public schools.”"
- James Corden
"“Really, James Comey? You want to weigh in on things when there’s an election coming up? You feel like that’s gone well for you in the past? That’s like Michael Jordan saying, ‘I’m going to take another crack at baseball.’”"
- Seth Meyers
"“Sean Spicer has written a new book about his time in the White House, called ‘The Briefing.’ If you want to see him, he’ll be at Barnes & Noble tomorrow — from 10 a.m. until his shift ends.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“Following years of complaints, the city of San Francisco has banned tour buses from stopping in front of the home from the TV show ‘Full House.’ This is bad news for tourists. Now you’ll have to find something more riveting on vacation than sitting in a van very slowly passing by a house.""
- James Corden
CynCity
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