" “Right before the election, Elon Musk endorsed Andrew Cuomo for mayor — or, as Cuomo put it, ‘Not helping.’”
"
- Jimmy Fallon
Quotes
"“I would love to know how Trump came to the conclusion that the changes were appropriate for the time of Lincoln. Does he think Abraham Lincoln was a high roller who loved gold trash cans?”"
- Seth Meyers
""I think we’re the first number one show to ever get canceled.""
- Stephen Colbert
" “Prince Andrew has been stripped of his royal title of ‘Prince’ due to his involvement with Jeffrey Epstein. And Andrew says he can only become a prince again if he gets a kiss from a young princess.”"
- SNL's Michael Che
"“This is such a stark difference from how every other leader on this trip has interacted with Trump. Malaysia’s throwing a concert for him, Korea’s giving him crowns, everyone’s kissing his ass. Then Xi comes in like his mom forced him to have a play date with the weird kid at school.”"
- Desi Lydic
""I’m not going to say the Korean brown-nosed him, but they got so far up there, I am pretty sure they snorted one of his tonsils, because they gave Donald Trump the only thing he’s missing at this point: a big golden crown. And their official lunch featured mini beef patties with ketchup. They’re literally making him the Burger King.” "
- Stephen Colbert
"“Japan is trying to get on Trump’s good side to escape his, you know, his random tariff spree. So they gave him a couple gifts for America’s upcoming 250th birthday: some fireworks and 250 cherry trees, or, as it will be known in history books, ‘How Eric Trump started the D.C. wildfires.” "
- Stephen Colbert
"“It’s so weird to make a hat for a thing that can’t happen. Wearing a Trump 2028 hat is like wearing a hat that says, ‘Super Bowl Champion New York Jets.’” "
- Seth Meyers
""That was a mistake, by the way. They definitely should hire Jon. If I'm in that position, there's no question I hire John 100 times out of 100,""
- Jimmy Kimmel, on being hired by ABC over Jon Stewart
"“This guy has been taking 15 years to give us a health care plan, but in three and a half days, he’s demolished half the White House.”"
- Michael Kosta
CynCity
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