Quotes

""What we do matters. And it matters more than ever now.""
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- P&G Chief Brand Officer Marc Pritchard, at Advertising Week
""A survey conducted by California Pizza Kitchen found that pizza is Americans’ favorite food. Not surprisingly, the study also found that America’s favorite state is California, and their favorite room is the kitchen.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“You know when most people throw out their calendar from 1982? 1983.”"
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- SNL host Colin Jost, on Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh still having his high school calendar
"“People were crying in front of their televisions so hard you’d have thought Milo Ventimiglia got killed by a Crock-Pot.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on the testimonies of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh
"“They could easily have sold this thing to Netflix as a comedy special.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on what he called President Trump's "frequently incoherent" press conference
"“That’s the face of someone thinking about the guy she dated right before she met you and wondering if she still has his number.”"
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- Seth Meyers, describing Judge Brett Kavanaugh's wife during her husband's Fox News interview
""Only twelve more and he can run for president.""
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- Jimmy Kimmel, after a second woman came forward to accuse Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct
"“A fetid swap of mistruths and outright lies interspersed with the occasional reminder of a dead pet.”"
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- John Oliver, describing Facebook
"“Trump is now making policy suggestions to Spain, or as he calls it, European Mexico.”"
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- James Corden
"“How is it never the right time to bring up assault allegations against a rich white dude? The woman Brock Turner raped reported it immediately, and I guess that wasn’t fair because it would ruin his future? Christine Blasey Ford reported Kavanaugh’s alleged assault 36 years later, and somehow she’s also ruining his future. How much future do rich white guys get to have?” "
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- Samantha Bee
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