"“Jack Daniels announced it will start selling coffee beans that taste like whiskey. They’re calling it ‘Breath of a Salesman.’”"
- Seth Meyers
Quotes
"“That’s right, Americans can vote on which turkey gets pardoned. You could tell the turkeys want to drag it out as long as possible, because today they asked if that vote could happen in Florida.” "
- Jimmy Fallon, on the annual White House turkey pardoning event
"“As you know, Amazon just announced the location of its two new headquarters in New York and Virginia, and everyone — except for the people who live there and the people who live in all the places we didn’t choose — is thrilled.” "
- Steve Carell-as-Jeff Bezos, on SNL
"“Our former First Lady is here to share stories from her new autobiography, Becoming. As in, ‘What the hell is this country Becoming?’”"
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Honestly, I don’t even know who this is. Mira Ricardel? Who is this person that they’re firing? Like, they’re running out of people we know to fire. This is like Walking Dead, Season 6. ‘Oh no, they killed — Derrick?’” "
- Trevor Noah, on the exit of a White House aide
"“In her upcoming memoir, ‘Becoming,’ former First Lady Michelle Obama reveals that she stopped even trying to smile during President Trump’s inauguration. While First Lady Melania Trump stopped in the early ’90s.” "
- Seth Meyers
""The consequences of article 13 go beyond financial losses. EU residents are at risk of being cut off from videos that, in just the last month, they viewed more than 90bn times.""
- YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, on the proposed update to the European Union's copyright law
""My favorite story in this midterm is Stacey Abrams, who is in a runoff for governor with Brian Kemp. This is a black woman running against a white man in Georgia, who’s also in charge of the election. That’s amazing. That’d be like beating LeBron at home if he was also the ref.""
- SNL's Michael Che
""Never have so many consumed so much media and yet been so misinformed.""
- Ann Curry, to the New York Times
"“The fact that the White House Press Secretary is promoting this doctored video is reprehensible and grounds for dismissal. Or as they call it in the Trump administration, Thursday.”"
- Stephen Colbert, on Sarah Sanders tweeting out a video allegedly made by right wing conspiracy website Infowars of CNN's Jim Acosta
CynCity
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