""Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, 'It will be happier.'""
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
Quotes
""The last door of a really good Advent calendar holds insulin.""
- Conan O'Brien, on Twitter
"“Trump is so frustrated right now, he wants to build that wall just to bang his head against it.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel
"“To me it makes sense for the president to cancel this party. I mean, what kind of party would this be? What would his toast be? ‘Welcome, enemies of the people?’”"
- Jimmy Kimmel, , on the White House canceling the annual holiday party for the press
"“Now, does it technically count as canceling if nobody R.S.V.P.’d?” "
- James Corden, on the White House canceling the annual holiday party for the press
"“According to a new report, the Utah Department of Agriculture and Food is looking to hire a cannabis program manager to oversee marijuana regulations. A cannabis program manager — or as it’s more commonly known, an R.A.”"
- Seth Meyers
"“It looks like Trump’s border wall is right on track to still never be built. Trump says if he doesn’t receive funding for his border wall, he will ask the military. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll have no choice but to ask Santa Claus.”"
- James Corden
"“One of Mike Pence’s aides was expected to replace [White House Chief of Staff John F.] Kelly, but he turned Trump down. You know you’re a tough guy to work for when someone says, ‘Sorry, but I’d rather be stuck in a room all day with Mike Pence.’” "
- Jimmy Fallon
"“She had grace, courage and an unmatched zest for life. She may be gone, but her voice will live on in DVD and Hulu Plus and tiny droid-projected messages. I may have lost a boss, but heaven has gained a princess.”"
- Family Guy's Peter, in his eulogy for Angela (voiced by the late Carrie Fisher)
"“I’m sorry that I hurt people. I am evolving and want to continue to do so. My goal is to bring people together not tear us apart.”"
- Kevin Hart, after announcing he is stepping down as Oscars host due to criticism over past comments criticized as homophobic
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