""When I built my studio, I built it in a neighborhood that is one of the poorest black neighborhoods in Atlanta, so that young kids could see that a black man did that and they can do it, too. The studio was once a Confederate army base, which meant that there were Confederate soldiers on that base plotting and planning on how to keep 3.9 million Negroes enslaved. Now that land is owned by one Negro.""
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- Tyler Perry, at the BET Awards
"“But who are you going to believe, Iran or the U.S. government … is a question that used to be really easy to answer.”"
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- Stephen Colbert, after Iran shot down a U.S. drone
"“Unfortunately, this is a probe into Trump’s possible obstruction of justice, so for once in your shampoo commercial of a life, answer somebody’s questions.”"
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- Samantha Bee, on Hope Hicks' appearance before the House Judiciary Committee
"“Finally, something for everyone thinking, ‘I wish there was a way to give that company stained by years of privacy abuse my bank information!’”"
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- Stephen Colbert, after Facebook announced its new cryptocurrency
"“He’s only been on Twitter for like four days, he’s already got almost 700,000 followers. The last time O.J. had this many people following him he was on the 405 headed to the Mexican border.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on O.J. Simpson's Twitter account
""We see it every day now, with every data breach, every privacy violation, every blind eye turned to hate speech. Fake news poisoning our national conversation. False miracles in exchange for a single drop of your blood.” "
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- Apple CEO Tim Cook, to Stanford's graduating class
"“She’ll leave the way she usually does, in the middle of someone’s question.”"
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- Seth Meyers, on the news that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving her job as White House press secretary
"“To win, all Biden has to do between now and next November is stop talking.” "
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- Conan O'Brien, on Joe Biden's election prospects
"“Biden’s right: It’s not about Donald, which is why Biden in his speech talked about Trump only 76 times. The only person talking about Donald Trump more than Joe Biden is Donald Trump — and me.”"
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- Stephen Colbert, on Joe Biden saying Trump makes the presidency all about himself
"“The only thing that’s good about this weekend is for a weekend, it doubled the number of black people in Iowa.”"
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- Trevor Noah, on Democratic candidates flocking to an event in Iowa
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