Quotes

""Let’s all remember that very funny moment when Biden sends a concession telegram to Trump next November.”"
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- John Oliver, on presidential candidate Joe Biden's "record player" reference
"“I don’t know who won the debate, but watching candidates discuss the issues intelligently, using real facts, I’d forgotten what it was like. It was like walking out of North Korea and into a Costco.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""[The] debate on ABC is scheduled to be three hours long. Americans are like, ‘Um, the only thing we’ll watch for three hours on ABC is ‘The Bachelor.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“The good news is we have a lot more pieces. The bad news is they don’t all fit together.” "
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- Lyle Schwartz, President of Investment, GroupM, speaking about measurement at Cynopsis' That Big TV Conference
""Suddenly we get to be the hot trendy thing, and it’s kind of nice.""
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- Michael Lieberman, co-CEO of Kinetic North America, speaking about digital out-of-home at the Cynopsis Big TV Conference
"“According to reports, Florida’s population is expected to increase by six million people by 2030 — probably from all those people moving out of Alabama to escape the hurricane.” "
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- Seth Meyers
"“That’s right — he’s not even trying to hide the lies anymore. Not only do we have fake news, we now have fake weather, too. I’m hoping we get fake sports, because I want to see the Mets win the World Series.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, after President Trump showed a map of Hurricane Dorian's path that appeared to have been altered with a Sharpie
"“I can’t wait for the day when the U.S. Postal Service has to tweet, ‘It is our duty to report that the president was incorrect when he said that packages are mommies and letters are their babies.’”"
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- Stephen Colbert, after the National Weather Service had to correct President Trump's tweet about Alabama being in the path of Hurricane Dorian
"“Fake is when it is wrong, Mr. President, not when it is unpleasant.”"
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- Fox News' Neil Cavuto, after President Trump complained about the net's coverage of him
""Now Sony and Marvel are fighting over who has to take Howard the Duck.""
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- Conan O'Brien, after the two companies had a falling out over Spider-Man
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