Quotes

"“The President is paying him nothing and is still overpaying him!” "
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- John Oliver, on Rudy Giuliani
"“Even e-cigarettes were like ‘Trump is having a bad week.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""When it Ukraines, it pours.""
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""Wait, the food trucks are giving free food outside? This is a land of wonders." "
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- Advertising Week attendee
"“Only seven million people watched the Emmys, and one million of those were ‘Game of Thrones’ cast members.”"
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- Conan O'Brien
""Television has never been this damn good.""
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- Bryan Cranston, at the Emmys
"“I’m not going to show you the picture because it’s really bad. It’s so bad that Canadians traveling in Europe are going to start telling people they’re American.” "
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- Seth Meyers, on Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau's blackface scandal
"“Donald Trump has now gone through more national security advisers than wives.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Somehow ‘Dancing With the Stars’ found a way to humiliate Sean Spicer more than the president of the United States.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“She was sentenced to two weeks but with good behavior she’s expected to serve 17 minutes and win a People’s Choice Award.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on Felicity Huffman's jail sentence in the college admissions scandal
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